Savannah's Birth Story

I’ve started so many versions of Savannah’s birth story. I want her to know how to she came into this world. I want her to know what a miracle and blessing she is. I want remember not to things for granted. I’m been starting her birth story since the hospital. I had wanted to write it right away so I wouldn’t forget anything. However I couldn’t put it in words. I was also very loopy and tired so it would turn into pages of disconnected rambling thoughts. So before 2011 arrives- here is Savannah’s birth story.

A Rough Weekend

Kevin drove us to the ER early Saturday morning because I was experiencing chest pains. I was terrified that it was the HELLP returning. I talked to Kevin and played with Baby Kevin to distract me while we waited in the ER patient room. They ran several labs and did a CT scan because of my history. The end result- I could go home. I had enlarged pulmonary arteries and would need to follow-up with my OBYN on Monday. I sat in the ER waiting room, waiting for Kevin to bring the car around to the front doors. As I waited, I prayed. I begged God for as much time as possible with Savannah on the inside. I pleaded with Him to get me to at least Christmas.

An Overnight Stay at the Hospital

Kevin and I went to the OBGYN first thing Monday morning. I described my weekend. I avoided looking her in the eyes because I knew what they would tell me. I was getting sick- she said. Kevin and I listened as she called the MFM (specialist) and L&D. I remember Kevin saying “does she know that we can hear her?”. Yes I was sick. Very sick- I heard her say it several times. We went straight to L&D. I switched into a hospital gown and prayed for more time. I had an EKG, ultrasound, steroid shots and labs drawn. I was told that I would at least be there overnight. Savannah was measuring small. She is the 10% percentile for her size. I was fine with overnight- even another 13 weeks of hospital bed rest- whatever was best for Savannah. The next morning, they decided to send me home on bed rest. My platelets were low but they were still ok. They were 141,000 on Saturday, 135,000 on Monday and 118,000 that day. It’s not a very promising trend. ( Anything below 90,000 will trigger a c section.)

As I walked out of the hospital, I remember Kevin saying well we have an appointment set for another 2 weeks and they’re sending you home…that has to be good, right?

The Headache Returns

Ashley is at home with Baby Kevin and I. I wake up with a headache and try not to panic. It could just mean that I need sleep. The doctors had advised me to try and treat the headache with Tylenol first. If it doesn’t go away or blood pressure is high, then I am to go back to L&D. By 11am, the headache is not going away. I try to remain calm. By the time my mom shows up around 11am, I am debating if I need to go to L&D. I take a blood pressure reading. It is 155/98. I have my answer. It’s time for us to head to the L&D. I have a sense of peace. I have my mom stop at Jack in The Box for lunch because I know they won’t let me eat at the hospital. I anticipate a 24 hour monitoring or worse- hospital bed rest. One jumbo jack later, the 4 of us arrive at L&D. The admitting nurse sends me straight the OR prepping area. Why is she sending me here? I’m not here for surgery. I figure it’s a precautionary measure. I’ll wait for the labs to come back.

Savannah is coming today!

My sense of peace fades and is replaced with fear. The pain in my chest is returning and the pain is escalating. Then the nurse breaks the news to me. The doctor has scheduled a c-section for 4pm. Even though I should have seen this coming, I am floored by this information. She can’t be serious! Doesn’t she know that I’m here for bed rest. I’m not here to have this baby- at least not today anyway. Doesn’t she know that I’m only 27 weeks pregnant? I try to calmly ask her why is a c-section being scheduled if my platelets are going up? She doesn't tell me then but they are scheduling the csection because my liver enzymes are dangerously elevated. I’m frantically trying to make sense of it. The pain gets worse. It hits me that I need to call Kevin. He knew we were there but I didn’t think he needed to leave work to join us. I call him at 3 and let him know that the c-section is scheduled for 4pm. Somehow telling him, makes it real. I break into tears. I feel this intense weight on my chest. I’m praying. I’m crying. I’m begging for more time. My nurse is a pro. She doesn’t cry or seem phased by me. She simply holds my hand and tells me that everything will ok.

As I wait for Kevin to arrive, it becomes harder to breathe. I am crying uncontrollably. I can’t remember being this hysterical before. I want to calm down as I know this isn’t helping anything and my blood pressure is rising. I cycle all the 27 week or earlier miracle babies that I know through my head- Robbie, Robinson, Keira, Campbell, Brandon, and Wren. I try to comfort myself with this. I called Erin, a nicu nurse and close friend. I start crying the minute I hear her voice. I’m trying to calm down but I can’t. My mom brings in Baby Kevin. I smile at him. He is a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness. He carried Baby Kevin through his nicu stay. He can do the same for Savannah. I calm down a little bit. Then Kevin arrives. I’m still hysterical again and the pain is so bad that I can’t even sit still in the bed. I’m on the side of the bed, gripping my iv pole. Kevin prays with me. I start to calm down a little. It is then I realize there is no point arguing. I know this pain in my chest. It is the HELLP syndrome attacking my body. As it gets harder to breathe, they tell Kevin to put scrubs on. He will get to see Savannah in the OR.

The OR

I switch from praying for more time to praying for Savannah’s lungs and a good c- section. The epidural which I have dreaded is so easy. I am amazed at how quickly it’s over. I’m shaking uncontrollably from the medicine. I watched my hands clanging against the iv poles as I try to stay still. The numbness from the epidural settles in. The anesthesiologist hooks me up to oxygen. The surgeon cues the music. Then hits me-really hits me- as I look into Kevin’s eyes. Savannah is going to born today! I will be awake. I will get to see her today! I brace myself for the fact that she might not cry.

As I wait, I talk to Kevin, the anesthesiologist and the surgeons. I see the nicu team arrive. I know it’s getting closer. Thank you God because I feel at peace again. Kevin and I are joking with the anesthesiologist about how we couldn’t do her job. My hands are still shaking but I’m managing to ignore them. And then I hear her. I hear her cry! Thank you God!! She is crying and it’s a loud cry! I look at Kevin and say “she’s crying!” and then I start to cry happy tears. Our Savannah is here and she is crying! “Come dad. Come see your baby”. Kevin disappears to go meet Savannah. I’m smiling, laughing and crying. I know Savannah is going to be strong. I peak though the mass of people around her as she is wheeled away. I can barely see her face. Kevin returns. He looks white. Poor guy. He made the mistake of looking at my stomach. He tells me “that’s intense! Like all your insides are outside...”. I don’t know why but I laugh. Poor guy. I’m sure it wasn’t pretty and I’m happy for the curtain that keeps me from seeing it.

A Blur of Events

The c-section is over. I ask the nurse to please lay my legs down flat. She tells me they are down flat. It’s my nerves playing games with me. I’m wheeled into room 14. The exact same room I was in on Monday. I wonder how long it will be before I can see her. The magnesium begins to take effect. It’s a little hard to breathe so I’m hooked up to oxygen. I ‘m connected to a blood pressure monitor and a oxygen saturation monitor. The room begins to blur. Our baby is here. She cried! She scored an 8. I ask Kevin to takes pictures of her. He asks if I am ready to see our family. I say that I am. My platelets continue to drop and my liver enzymes continue to rise. The HELLP hasn’t let go of me yet. I’m tired. I struggle to keep my eyes open. It’s hot. Why is it so hot? My family comes in to see me. I try to stay awake and talk with them. Soon sleep wins.

Meeting Savannah

Friday, October 22 @ 3:32pm-30 mins short of 48 hours- finally! I get to meet her. I’ve been stuck in my bed because of my own health. My platelets got as low as 28,000. The OBGYN had tried to remove the bandage so I could get moving. However my platelets were still too low and I wasn’t clotting fast enough. Needless to say- that delayed my trip to the nicu.

I’m so excited to see her again. See when she's not a blur on a cart being raced to the NICU. I brace myself because I know she’ll be a lot smaller than Kevin. I wonder how fragile will she look. What does a 2lb baby look like? Kevin can’t wheel me fast enough. I have my brother’s camera in my pocket. I’m so excited. I’m also very dizzy and nauseous. I’m clinging to a pink basin just in case. Kevin is trying to be careful not to move too quickly. He knows that I’m dizzy and feeling queasy. I don’t care! Move faster Kevin!

The nicu seems so far away. We get to the doors. Kevin buzzes us in. I’m trying to effectively wash my hands but all I can think about is her. I’m holding back tears. Kevin stops again to sign us in. He seems to take forever to write our names down. Then we start moving again. I am wheeled past all these other cribs and isolettes. Savannah would be in the very back corner! Hurry up!! I’m trying to smile at all the nurses, RT staff and doctors. Do they see how slow Kevin is pushing me? Can’t we get there any faster?

Finally I see her isolette. She is under a blue lamp for her bili levels. Kevin wheels me to her bedside. The nurse lowers the isolette so I can see her.She is fragile. Her skin is thin so I don't want to touch her. Her isolette is like a humidifer. It's warm and the air is very wet. I reach my hand in and place it over her diaper. I am still blow away by her. She is perfect! She is tiny but she is perfect. I’m surprised that she is on the cpap already. She is breathing so strong! Savannah, it’s mommy. I love you. She reminds of how awesome God is. Even at 27 weeks she is perfectly formed. I tell her how many people love and are praying for her. I tell her that God has a destiny for her life. I take a few pictures and am then wheeled back to my room. Savannah Alicia Grant- our miracle.