8 days old

Today was the longest amount of time I've spent at the NICU so far. I've been struggling with trying to find a good balance between spending time with Savannah, spending time with Baby Kevin, spending time with Daddy Kevin and finding time to rest so my own body can recover. It's hard to find the perfect balance. I always can't seem the shake the "rain cloud of guilt" that maybe I didn't manage my time effectively. I am trying to relax and trust that I am exactly where I need to be for that given time.

First a correction about yesterday's post. I misunderstood the doctor. She said tablespoon not teaspoon. 5 ml is equals a teaspoon. Therefore yesterday's blood transfusion was a tablespoon amount not a teaspoon.

I have more good news about Savannah.

- She is now getting 7ml of breast milk every three hours. She is still receiving TPN and lipids. (total parenteral nutrition = TPN; lipids are fats) The goal is to get her to point that she is getting enough breast milk so that she will no longer require the TPN and lipids. 7ml puts her 60% closer to being exclusively fed breast milk.

-She is currently breathing with the assistance of a high flow nasal cannula. The cannula is adjusted based on liters of oxygen. She has been reduced from 4 liters to 3 liters and is breathing 22% room air.

-The official report is in from the "brain doctor". He confirmed what the tech saw- her brain is developing perfectly!!

- She gained some weight. She is now 1lb 15oz.

and the best news of all- I got to Kangaroo Carry her today!!! It was so amazing to have skin to skin contact with her. She cried at first because she was so comfy in her little isolette, but she quickly stopped crying once she realized what was happening. I got to hold her for 1 hour and 20 mins. She had 3 minor brady events while I was holding her but for the most part- she tolerated the kangaroo carry very well. Her heart rate and breathing were very stable for most of it. I am so grateful to Savannah's neighbor's mom. She came over and took pictures for me so I could document this very special moment. I had wanted Kevin to be present, but I couldn't wait for him. Eight days is long enough to go without being able to touch your child. I also changed my first diaper today. She fussed the entire time! I guess I was a little to slow for her. I was a little slow because I had to be careful not to hit any of the monitors, picc line, IVs on her legs.

I also took a break to have lunch today with the neighbor's mom. It was nice to talk to someone who knows exactly how you feel. Good news for her baby too- she doesn't need the surgery!

Anyways as always, thank you so much for your prayers. I know I'm only as strong as I am because of God and the awesome support/prayers that I receive from everyone.

Well tomorrow is Baby Kevin's 18mnth appointment. I hope he handles the shots well. I'll have an update on him tomorrow as well. He is being such a big boy. He did regress a little on his nighttime sleeping and is frustrated that I can't hold him. but otherwise he is handling his big brother duties well. We also add flag, dog, bee, ashley to his list of words.

Here are some pictures from today. I would have had more but I forgot my camera (yes smart I know) and my mom's camera battery didn't last long.

Could not help but to just stare at her. :)

It felt great to feel her little hands on me.

A closeup of Savannah

I did not eat lunch until 2pm. I held her for an hour and 20 mins. The time holding her just flew by! I did not want to let her go but I needed to eat and was getting very tired.

All snuggled in the blanket from Auntie Melody

My wedding ring in her hand. Thanks dad for taking my rings to get them cleaned so I could take this picture.

All spread out in her little isolette- ready her diaper change.