Sharing Our Joy: Sweet Moments In the Night

The alarm goes off. It’s 4:30am. I remember when I tried getting up at 4:30 so I could have time for morning workouts. I tried twice and then retreated to the comfort of my bed. Today 4:30am is the norm. I wake up and my mind starts formulating the revolving list. It begins…Nurse Baby Kevin, pump, get dressed, grab ice packs from freezer, put bottles, baby crate and pump in the car, pack lunch, brush my hair, curl my hair if I have time, dress/change Baby Kevin, don't forget the cell phone, pile into the car and drive to work.

The list updates as I check off items or is revised if I start running out of time. Then a new list is created and this list continues throughout my day. 4:30 am is a small sacrifice that I make so I can have Fridays off. Still it is so hard some days working 6:30-5:30 (and then add the 20-35 minute commute).

This week I read the “No Cry Sleep Solution” book. They suggest “sleep training” at four months. He is now 4 months based on his adjusted age. The process has begun and Baby Kevin is smoothly transitioning to his crib and his new bed time routine. I am so exhausted some days when I come home. I come home to Baby Kevin, cook dinner for Daddy Kevin(sometimes…poor husband), and get Baby Kevin ready for bed. Bath time, story time, bed time prayers and drifting to sleep in my arms while listening to the Ocean Dreams CD from his Oma. He typically is asleep by 7:30ish and sleeps until 2am (ish) in the morning.

Last night it dawned on me as I took him out of his crib in the wee hours of the morning that I did not despise this time but instead I enjoyed this time! I know that maybe hard for some to comprehend because the number one question I get is “Does he sleep through the night?” However I do enjoy this time with him. It is time with no distractions. No to-do lists running in my head. No TV noise. It’s just us and sound of Daddy Kevin sleeping. He snuggles against my side as he nurses and I relax because I have nothing pressing to do (other than go back to sleep). I try and burn every sensory event into my memory because I know all too soon these moments will be a mere distant memory.

For some reason, I vividly remember waiting for my 8th Chuck E Cheese birthday. It seemed to take forever to arrive! But now the days fly by. Baby Kevin will be six months tomorrow! SIX months. HALF a year! I know I cannot stop time so I am trying to embrace each moment as they slip by. I am trying to not worry about the house, errands and trivial things. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the list but it usually just takes one of his smiles or giggles to snap me back to what is important.

Anyways I am rambling again…I am sure the time when he is sleeping through the night will be here before I know it. So for now I will sit in the dark with the glow of hall way light, brush my fingers through his hair, trace the curve of his chubby check and kiss the top of his head. As Daddy Kevin tells me “Enjoy this because soon he’ll be older and you’ll be boring to him” So that’s what I’m trying to do…and hopefully I won’t be boring to him until his teenage years :-)

Smiles during fun time in my swing