Why do I fear these five words? I am forever worrying if I am doing this whole parenting thing right. I would assume you can relate if you have kids- If you can’t please take your perfection someplace else. J I have made it worse on myself because I feel like I need to make up for his rough start. I worry about his developmental delays etc. I slipped from “The Plan” on Sunday night due to exhaustion; I didn’t even bother to put him to bed. I just placed in our bed and went to sleep. It’s SO much easier but I awoke in the morning feeling guilty and hoping that Daddy Kevin had not noticed. (If he did notice- thankfully he didn’t say anything to me about it)I always said I would never let our child sleep in the bed with us. It’s bad training right? Well that was before I had Baby Kevin- back when I was naïve and “perfect”. J So last night, I made sure to put him in the bassinet. I had to “undo the damage” that I had done the night before. FYI: He slept perfectly in the bassinet! He even put himself to sleep. He “talked” for a while and then fell asleep. Yay! No permanent damage was done.
So why do I continue to question every move? The questions swirl around in my head. Should I have a stricter routine to provide some type of structure? Should I move him to his crib instead of the bassinet? Is he ready for rice cereal? Did he have enough tummy time? Should I have enrolled him in the developmental clinic or is Easter Seals enough? Yeah I know all these internal debates and he is only FOUR months. How hard can it be? He just eats, sleeps, plays and he is NOT mobile.
I am so glad that I had taken the time to tell my friends that went before me that they are good mommies. Yes- I really did mean it. My friends are great moms! Anyways, I didn’t realize how I would consider that statement to be the best compliment. I guess we all just need to hear that we’re not totally messing up. Dads seem to be equipped without that “self-doubt/ worry” chip or maybe they just don’t vocalize it. Anyways this isn’t an appeal for praise or reassurance! J I am just listing my thoughts and thanking ALL of you that have told me that I’m good mom. One of Baby Kevin’s nurses- sent me a facebook comment basically stating that I had done a lot for Kevin when he was in the NICU and that I was a good mom. It really made my day.
Well our kids don’t come with a manual. What works for yours may not work for mine. My friend Mike said "what makes a good mom is not how quick you clean the spit up but how many times you get him to smile. It's not how quickly you clean the diaper but how excited he gets when he see your face". This really helped! I am trying to really learn to trust God that He will guide Kevin and I on this parenting journey. So that’s my goal- to continually seek God and pray over Baby Kevin. I’m nowhere near perfect- I will mess up….but with God in control- It will be ok so it’s time for me to try and let the worrying go and just enjoy Baby Kevin.
So here are some pictures of our happy little boy.
I know it's easy to worry but it's totally not worth it! Just relax, I'm sure you're a fantastic mom! And doing things your way, whether "conventional" or not, is your perogative, and one way is no better than any other way. Shiphrah slept in our bed until she was 4 months old and she adapted to her crib perfectly. Kirk is 5 1/2 months old and he HATES rice cereal...so I don't force him to eat it. I've heard of babies that were breastfed ONLY until they were 9 months old! And they were perfectly happy, chunky babies. :) (And personally, especially since Baby Kevin is a preemie, I wouldn't suggest starting him on cereal this early...it could mess up his breastfeeding appetite. I lost my milk supply with Shiphrah because I focused too much on introducing baby foods.)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, all that to say: do what works for YOU and KEVIN! :)
Okay, one of my sentences didn't make sense. :) (Tired Mama much?) It should have said/meant: "I've heard of babies that were fed only breastmilk and no solids until they were 9 months old." There, does that make more sense? Gosh, I need to get some sleep. :)
ReplyDeleteAlicia, the smile on Baby Kevin's face says it all, u are being the best mom u can and know how to be. You are right when u say they don't come with manuals. After 3 kids and another on the way I still question my parenting skills. As for him sleeping with you, all of mine have slept with me and my husband until the next one came along, sometimes they still want to sleep with us. Look at it this way ...one day "you're gonna miss this" "you're gonna want this back"....(song by Trace Adkins) so just do what seems right at the time.
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ReplyDeleteoops mistakes but I can redo if you delete:-)
ReplyDeleteSis I know that there is not one parent in this world that ever wants to hear those words.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is don't waste a second stressing about that, use those seconds enjoying KG. A second wasted will never be regained.
God gave you that beautiful gift (KG)
Why doubt yourself when God has trust in you?
Remember that only God is perfect so we will all make mistakes sometime but we have to move on.
I knew long before KG was thought about that you would make a great mum and I was not wrong.
Love ya
Lisa